He returns...

Well, after a week of not posting I thought I'd make the effort to get back into the routine. The lack of posts has been down to several things...for a start, I upgraded my PC and it's taken me all week to get a media centre program fully configured (which proved useful last night cos as a test, I set my PC to record Time Team...and it worked! Woo Woo!). I've also been dead busy at work so I didn't get many opportunities to skive for 5 minutes.

No great news to spread though...other than Eric dying, bless him. He reached the grand old age of 2 years and 9 months, and passed peacefully in his sleep. I assume so anyway...he looked asleep when I found him and he hadn't been ill or anything. I don't think I'll be replacing him, at least for a while. I'd like a little fella that lasts a bit longer...maybe a rat...or a zebra.

Felix

Whilst feeding Gizzy a minute ago, I was prompted to think of something thats always bugged me. Not to any great extent I might add...I've just always wondered what other peoples perceptions of it are. This is my great attempt to find out..

The slogan: Cat's like Felix like Felix

Do you read it as;

a) Cat's like Felix (the cat) like Felix (the yummy feline food)
or
b) Cats like Felix (the yummy feline food) like Felix (the cat) (does)

I was gonna put a 'c) I couldn't give a monkeys arse' option in there for Rew, but I want him to give me a proper answer, so I haven't. Rew - I await your witty reply.

Add a comment to this post with your views on this world altering matter.

Messenger nonsense

Rew has obviously been hunting through his message archive today, as he came up with the following little chestnuts. These are some examples of the intelligence me and Rew (or Rew and I to you English teachers) share in our daily Messenger conversations:

the_most_to_gain (4:18:33 PM): barrington
the_most_to_gain (4:18:41 PM): are you still celebrating hannukah?
rewster81 (4:18:41 PM): from maid marion?
rewster81 (4:18:45 PM): yes
the_most_to_gain (4:18:46 PM): yes
the_most_to_gain (4:18:53 PM): why?
rewster81 (4:18:55 PM): danny john-jules
the_most_to_gain (4:19:02 PM): what about him?
rewster81 (4:19:09 PM): played barringotn
the_most_to_gain (4:19:09 PM): dreadlocks
rewster81 (4:19:13 PM): barrington
the_most_to_gain (4:19:16 PM): he was black then
rewster81 (4:19:18 PM): yes

rewster81 (5:02:18 PM): yeah, least he wont gay me up with his mini skirt
the_most_to_gain (5:06:10 PM): lol#
the_most_to_gain (5:06:14 PM): did he keep it?
rewster81 (5:06:24 PM): i gather
rewster81 (5:06:29 PM): rosebuds
rewster81 (5:06:31 PM): while i may

the_most_to_gain (10:26:02 AM): the new series of little britain starts tonight innit?
rewster81 (10:26:11 AM): on BBC3
the_most_to_gain (10:26:16 AM): is it?
the_most_to_gain (10:26:17 AM): ah
the_most_to_gain (10:26:19 AM): oh
the_most_to_gain (10:26:30 AM): well not for you then hehe
the_most_to_gain (10:26:39 AM): unless you watch it at keefymadoodles
rewster81 (10:27:16 AM): no, he doesn't like it
the_most_to_gain (10:27:21 AM): oh
the_most_to_gain (10:59:40 AM): why?
rewster81 (10:59:48 AM): why what?
rewster81 (10:59:51 AM): sorry, closed the window
the_most_to_gain (10:59:58 AM): you shouldnt
the_most_to_gain (11:00:03 AM): i'm important
rewster81 (11:00:04 AM): it gets in my way sometimes
the_most_to_gain (11:00:19 AM): oh-ah
rewster81 (11:00:26 AM): anyway
rewster81 (11:00:29 AM): why what?
the_most_to_gain (11:00:52 AM): why doesn't he like it?
rewster81 (11:01:24 AM): who like what now?

the_most_to_gain (12:06:12 PM): woozum
rewster81 (12:06:17 PM): what?
the_most_to_gain (12:06:26 PM): sment
rewster81 (12:06:27 PM): the rain?
the_most_to_gain (12:06:42 PM): chref
rewster81 (12:06:55 PM): napapa

the_most_to_gain (12:07:26 PM): blimey
the_most_to_gain (12:07:27 PM): wet rain
rewster81 (12:07:40 PM): yeah, makes a change from the hot dry stuff
rewster81 (12:08:14 PM): fuck chips, its arsing it down

Everyone wants a Dave in the office

I found this highly amusing...does that make me weird?

Me and my tabard

God knows why I go to such lengths to keep you all amused, but what the hell.
I was given a lovely denim tabard by Ross today, and I feel I have to show you how amazingly gay I look in it. The dodgy pose probably helps...I was going for the ol' 'catalogue guy' look but as you can see, I failed miserably.

Control yourself Tom...

Younger brothers and stuff

I'm just back from mum's where i've been having one of those customary wrestling sessions with Keef. He was trying to put his sock in my mouth, but I managed to win, partly by accidentally headbutting him in the jaw which made the most hilarious sound i've heard in ages. I miss playful Keef...he only tends to emerge once or twice a year. He left with a nice taste in his mouth anyway...I made sure I rubbed it all over his teeth and gums.

Looky here...

That was my first ever 180 (Lucy saw it happen...I didn't just wop the darts in to make it look good). I've hit plenty of 140's in my time, but never a 180. And I got it within a week of putting my dartboard back up...it's been in the garage since I moved out of my flat. I'm sure you'll all be thrilled that i've taken my darts playing to the next level :o)

Oh...and Manda - yes please to the cheesy postcards! I'm incredibly envious of you goin to Beijing...China is the place i'd most like to go in the world...i'd be picking up all kinds of oriental nik naks to decorate my house with.

I'm off now to try and shake off the image that Tom has just put in my head of me in a threesome with Chris Corner and Gary Numan. Much as I worship them, I doubt i'd go quite that far...

The World!?

Wow! I wanna go to The World!

Rootangle Update

Apparently, Rootangles new carer woke up 3 times overnight to feed him. Now that's dedication. He ate 14oz of food in the first 10 hours. 14oz! Thats the same weight as half of one of the empty jars of bolognese sauce in my kitchen (if you needed a comparison).

Beardy Bulletin # 1

Smugness....you never know whether to love it or hate it. I spose you love it when it's you being smug, but hate it when it's someone else.

At least 2 of you will know what I mean. Anyone that reads back on this might find it a little cryptic.

Rootangle

This is Rootangle. We (being the nice people that we are) saved his life. Y'see, he was a regular in our garden, looking for food and the like...so I kept giving him cat food. I was a bit surprised to see him cos he should be hibernating (the fool). Turns out he was too small to hibernate...he wouldn't have survived the winter cos he hadn't managed to eat enough food to keep his little body chugging along during his long sleep. Luckily, a bloke where dad works takes in the little hedgehog dudes that aren't big enough to hibernate and feeds them up before putting them in boxes in his shed to hibernate, so when Lucy spotted him the other night I caught him and handed him over. Now he isn't gonna die, which is good. I like hedgehogs, me.

Gordon Burns

Look...it's Gordon Burns from the Krypton Factor! What a funny man.

Excitement in the Alan camp

I found a pair of jeans that fit today. I'm dead proud of myself. Whether this means one of my new years resolutions is going so well that it has already taken effect, or H&M have started selling jeans for people with massive thighs i'm not quite sure...

Also, at lunch time, Keef introduced me to the wonder of the second floor in Primark. I must add that it was only a wonder because I never knew it existed, not because of whats up there...although Keef did succumb to a Primark bargain bless him.

Oh shite...

OK...keep quiet the lot of you...I seem to have made a glaring error. Another link for your viewing pleasure, which suggests that Terry Nutkins is actually Sir Terry Nutkins. How that happened without me noticing i'll never know...but then again, how much trust can you put in a Geocities website by a user named randybitchslap? I feel this warrants further investigation... Rew...you're good at this sort of thing - help me solve the Nuktins mystery.

Further news on Terry...for those who care...

While innocently browsing the internet this evening, I stumbled upon this little beauty. I'm sure you're all (all 2 of you for the moment) as excited about the news as I am...

Day 2, post 2...not bad Alan, not bad...

I've been busier than a Chinese street market today, so i'm no closer to finding out where Terry Nutkins is hiding. I reckon he's probably got a proper job now...in a zoo or something. Ah well...the mystery continues.

This is not a personal vendetta

While i fear that i'm only doing this as a revenge mission against a buddy of mine (the bugger wouldn't let me re-join his blog after I tried (and failed miserably) to expose him as a crazy typo fixing fool so nobody could laugh at him...what can I say? He's always one step ahead of me, the clever git), I'm also quite excited about it. Although I don't have an archive of posts, steeped in history from various websites, I figured I had nothing to lose by making my own (rival, if you will) blog. And besides that, I get very, very bored at work sometimes...and it seems a waste not to be doing something semi-creative in my idle time.
If you're seeing this page in its early incarnation, please ignore the decor...It will improve given time...and there will hopefully be plenty to see, soon enough...